Body Image Sticking Points: Feeding Yourself and Being in Flux

The big secret, I think, is that life is a continuous experience.

We have some ideas, sometimes, that there is an endpoint. We’ve all experience this in the context of how people view and treat their bodies—“I just need to lose 4 more lbs…”—but this doesn’t just apply to the way people approach their bodies but how they approach their lives, generally. 

Obviously, this is a problem that many people face when they “diet.” Because you have this end point in mind—some place to arrive. And when you get there, what happens? The diet is over? You’ve hit the end of the timeline and you’re on your own? 

The reason that almost all diets fail, is that they do little to confront the larger question of how to live. Being on a diet is a good lens for this question. Say you find yourself in a position where you’d like to lose weight. Maybe it’s vanity or maybe it’s for your health. You can go on a diet, esentially overriding your normal lifestyle decisions with the prescriptions and rules, for a finite period of time, and lose weight. But without confronting the original lifestyle choices and changing them—working with yourself to find the right balance for you—it will ultimately not be sustainable. 

This blog has been an exercise in learning about myself in this way.

I try to live intuitively with respect to my physical body.

In a way, it is like enterting into a marriage with myself. I’m going to have this body for the rest of my life. I’m going to need to figure out how it works, what to do with it. I’m going to have to live in it. For, like, ever. Literally. The same goes for you, so you’ll need to find something that’s workable. 

A big part of this is learning to deal with change and flux. Before I left on my roadtrip to California, I confronted this idea emotionally and what it means to chill in the face of massive 

change. And I’ve confronted it physically a few times over the last 20-ish months of this blog as well: I am a living, breathing thing. I’m constantly changing. It’s pretty normal. 

Getting past the idea of an endpoint is the goal but living intuitively is not exactly easy either. For example, while everyone has a sort of range of conditions they feel best in, how do you stay within the lines 

that you alone are responsible for laying down for yourself? I really want to look in the mirror and recognize myself, but a lot has changed.

Long story short, I’ve lost a bunch of

 weight. Something on the order or 12-15 lbs since I left the East coast. I simply won’t eat food that makes me feel bad and that’s limited my options. Beyond that, I haven’t really been making time to take care of myself lately. I’ve fallen into an unusual rhythm for me. Strictly considering my weight, I wouldn’t say I’m unhealthy, but, as far as habits are concerned, I’m leaving a lot to be desired and *that* doesn’t feel good. 



So, while I try to figure out why I haven’t been so hungry lately (cancer, obvs) I am going to try to get back into a more “normal” day-to-day for me.Today, I started by actually having breakfast. 

So, I’m just going to relax. After all, it’s not like I just picked up, drove across the country, started a new job, moved into a new apartment and got involved with some amazing dude. Or, maybe, it’s exactly like that. 

There really is no there: You do need to just keep recalibrating as you go. Self-tolerance and patience and all that stuff, 


19 Notes/ Hide

  1. runsweetrun said: I’m struggling a bit with this as well. Trying to live more in the moment and not worry so much about the “end point”. It can be tough to do.
  2. twelveintentions posted this

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